I'll be honest. It's never easy talking about topics related to children, or being a mom in general. Especially on social media because there are SO MANY trolls that will shame on you for what you do, just because it's not what they did. But, this is my most requested blog post and so I figured it was time to lay it all out and share what works for us and how our transition went.
All I've ever wanted to be was a mom, since I was old enough to know what it meant to have children. I've always pictured myself with tons of little rascals running around, with sassy attitudes, cute outfits, all the toys and lots of happiness and smiles. We got pregnant with our first child (unexpectedly),although, he was 100% life changing and the best thing to ever happen to us, in 2017. He was born in 2018 and we were over the moon excited. We had also recently gotten engaged so wedding planning was in full force. My husband was a busy business owner, and I was a SAHM with a side gig. I spent all my time snuggling up my newborn + working hard to build my business from home.
Flash forward to 2020 I knew I was ready to have another kiddo. I want all of my kids to be pretty close in age. We had been married for about 9 months, and I was ready to keep making our family grow. So, WE DID. We got pregnant early in 2020 and welcomed our second baby boy in November 2020.
What a CRAZY year to have a child, right? A whole world-wide pandemic. Definitely will be a hole book of memories we will never forget. We were sooo excited for big brother to meet his little brother. If I am being honest here, I have ZERO worries in the world about how Braxton would be as a big brother. In fact, I figured he would be so sweet, helpful and supportive.. And, he was just that.
Before I dive too much into the transition for us, I think it's important to always remember -- everyone is different and don't let our story define your story.
Braxton was the BEST big brother. But, I will say there was definitely a short period of time where he was very jealous, upset, and acting out, but, he was never mean to his brother. You could just tell he felt like he was pushed to the back burner and he wasn't getting enough attention. Brady and I knew we needed to make Braxton feel important, loved and supported just as he has done for us. So, we took turns doing day dates with him and taking him to do things he enjoyed so he got all the attention on him.
If I can say anything here, transition from Zero to One kid is SO. MUCH. HARDER than transitioning from one to two kids. As a C-Section mama, it was hard for me to move around or get up and down a lot during the day. And honestly, with a newborn there's not much to do anyways. Braxton was so much help with grabbing things when I needed them, or hanging out with his brother so mom could get stuff done. It was so sweet to watch him with his brother.
We always made sure we made time for Braxton at night after putting Brooks to sleep. We wanted to make sure he knew how important he was and to give him the love and attention he deserved.
I think as the second child starts getting older it's important to try and get your kiddos on the same routine, because it will make you feel so much better. We tried our best to make sure our kids got fed at the same time, that they napped at the same time, that they bathed at the same time that way at the end of the day they were both on the same schedule for bedtime routines.
As our second one is now a year old, things are starting to get a little crazier. He is getting more mobile which makes playtime a little more hectic. If I can give one piece of advice here, buy TWO of everything so your kids never fight over toys (HAHAHA.) Honestly though, this is probably my big complaint thus far. It's very exhausting with the constant battle of toys, and objects in general.
I think our biggest struggles with the transition was when I was breastfeeding. We had just moved into a new house a few months before Brooks was born so Braxton was still adjusting to his new bedroom in the basement, and adjusting to the new house in general. He went through a phase where he was waking up between 2 and 3am and coming to our bedroom, and that was hard for me as I was up nursing the newborn throughout the night and it was hard to keep Braxton asleep. But, like I said it was just a phase and you eventually get through it!
I will say though, as you transition from one to two kids, relax and let it happen. Never be afraid to ask for help, and when help is offered -- TAKE IT. I recall so many times where I would say "No, I'm fine" "I got it" etc, but in reality -- we could all use a freaking break, right? Especially as new moms. So lean in and accept the help when it is there.
For those of you that have the spouse support at home, I strongly encourage you to give them duties. Assign them tasks to do to help you. Otherwise they are clueless as to what they can do, and often wont help unless you do this. Spouses and support partners are so hard to navigate with a new baby in the house because they know there are way too many sensitive things that can be said, so they often don't say anything at all. But, I encourage you to reach out to them and let them know how they can help you.
Lastly, I promise you two kids in the best thing that will ever happen to you. Watching them grow up together, watching them play, all the special moments are 100% worth it. Relax, soak it all in and enjoy every moment mama, because they aren't little forever!